Who Pastors the Pastor?
Even the shepherd needs a shepherd.
It’s a question people rarely ask, but every pastor eventually confronts:
Who pastors the pastor?
For much of my 31 years as a senior pastor, my honest answer was surprisingly simple.
No one.
That was not intentional. It was simply the way life unfolded.
Until 1975, my pastor was my father. When he died, I lost not only a parent but also the spiritual voice that had guided me for much of my early life.
Nearly a decade later, in 1984, Dr. Samuel DeWitt Proctor entered my life in a way that changed everything. Dr. Proctor, who had been mentor to Martin Luther King, Jr., became my teacher, mentor, and pastor. As my doctoral professor, he guided my academic work. As a seasoned pastor and public intellectual, he shaped my thinking about leadership, faith, preaching and the responsibilities of the Black church.
More personally, he became the pastoral voice I needed.
Dr. Proctor helped guide me to First Baptist Church of Lincoln Gardens, and by the time I arrived there as pastor, he had become the most influential spiritual and pastoral resource in my life.
For seven years, I had what every pastor needs: someone who could pastor the pastor
Then, during my seventh year at First Baptist, Dr. Proctor died.
By that time, the church was growing rapidly and developing into what many would later call a megachurch. With that growth came a challenge I had not anticipated. The larger the church became, the smaller the number of people who seemed naturally positioned to serve as my pastor.
From June 1997 until my retirement in July 2021, I essentially served without one.
That does not mean I served without support.
I had faithful deacons and other church leaders who prayed for me, encouraged me, and stood with me through many seasons of leadership. Their presence mattered, and their support helped sustain me through many difficult moments.
Part of the reality I faced also had to do with the structure of the Baptist church. Unlike connectional denominations such as the AME Church, Baptists do not operate with a hierarchy of bishops or presiding elders who naturally function as pastoral overseers for clergy.
But even where such structures exist, hierarchy does not always translate into true pastoral care. Those relationships can sometimes become more political or administrative than pastoral.
What I needed was not supervision. I needed a pastor.
I had excellent associates on staff and strong friendships with fellow pastors - many of them members of my doctoral cohort. Over time those relationships became some of the most meaningful friendships of my life.
But peers are equals.
We could be friends. We could be confidants. We could encourage each other. But the equality of those relationships often made it difficult for one of us to truly pastor the other.
Fortunately, I did not serve without guidance.
During those years I developed relationships with mentors, many of them in business and finance. Their counsel helped me understand leadership, governance, and the management responsibilities that come with leading a large institution. Their wisdom proved invaluable as I helped guide not only the church but also several affiliated nonprofit organizations.
Spiritually, I relied on other disciplines. I read widely. I prayed consistently. I listened carefully to gifted preachers and teachers whose ministries nourished my spirit from a distance.
And perhaps most importantly, I was blessed to be married to a deeply devoted Christian woman. On a personal and spiritual level, Donna has often come closer than anyone to being a pastoral voice in my life.
Because of all these influences, I never felt that my life or leadership was missing something essential.
But looking back now, I recognize there probably was a gap.
During the seven years when Dr. Proctor served as my pastor, his influence was invaluable. He offered input on leadership decisions. He critiqued my sermons. He introduced me to people and ideas that broadened my horizons.
When he died, I lost more than a mentor.
I lost the person who could speak into my leadership with pastoral authority.
If I could speak to my younger self today, I would offer one piece of advice:
Take this need seriously. Find a pastor.
Because no matter how experienced the leader, no matter how large the church, and no matter how strong the support system around you may be, the truth remains the same:
Even the shepherd needs a shepherd.