Pastoral Retirement - My 20 Year Project
Confessions of a Retired Pastor
by DeForest B. Soaries, Jr.
I decided to retire from pastoring more than twenty years before I actually did.
That decision gave me time - time to think, save, plan, worry, delay, and imagine what life after the pulpit might look like. What it did not do was prepare me for how retirement would feel - for me and my wife.
After 31 years as a pastor, I stepped away from the role that had shaped my identity, my calendar, my relationships, and my sense of purpose. What followed was not silence or boredom - but a surprising mix of freedom, guilt, reflection, opportunity, and unresolved questions.
Confessions of a Retired Pastor is a candid, ongoing reflection on life after vocational ministry. It’s written in real time, not hindsight. These are not polished sermons or spiritual prescriptions. They are honest observations from a man learning how to live without the title that once defined him.
This space is where I explore:
What happens when you prepare emotionally for retirement - but financially a little later than you planned.
The unexpected truth of being busier after leaving the pastorate than before.
The guilt that can come with not missing the job at all.
The challenge of redefining purpose without a pulpit.
The freedom and discomfort of finally choosing what matters most.
Faith, leadership, money, identity, legacy, and reinvention in the later chapters of life.
The impact of my retirement on my wife.
This Substack is for pastors and faith leaders approaching retirement, those already navigating it, and anyone whose identity has been deeply tied to a role, title, or calling—and is now asking, Who am I without it?
It is also for church leaders and members who love and support their pastors and want them to experience professional longevity and healthy, post-pastoral transition.
I served in pastoral leadership for 31 years and spent my adult life helping others think about purpose, stewardship, and freedom. Now, I’m learning to apply those same questions to myself - out loud.
I publish one to two times per week. Some posts are longer reflections. Others are short notes—thoughts I’m still turning over, questions I haven’t fully answered, and truths I’m still learning how to name.
If you are in a season of transition—or preparing for one—you are welcome here.
Subscribe if you’d like to walk this journey with me.